Words

I know it's been awhile since I last posted. Nothing has really been going on just life. I've been my normal crazy self before a vacation. This time I've been worse and started earlier, cuz of the wedding I want to make sure I have everything for that then add in everything for a normal vacation. I'm really not sure how hubby has put up with my crazy packing planing for the last few weeks and we still have 2.5 weeks to go! Anyways, on to this post, which is another and main reason I haven't posted. I guess I just wasn't ready to really feel how I was feeling about it til now.

As you all know, M has a speech delay(along with all the other delays she's had I saw it coming). Even though she started with a Speech Therapist a few months ago, she still has only about 10 words and 2 phrases. She's such a smart cookie, she can say "sticker" and "I got it" clear as day, but it's those easy words that she just doesn't get/have. She learned to say "duck" and moo like a cow in the last month which mooing was a huge step for her, the only "sound" she would make was RRROOORRR like a dinosaur. She still doesn't do any other "sounds". Even with her big steps, it's getting even harder for me. There is just one word I want to hear, I haven't even gotten a little taste of it. It's always been a little hard that she didn't say it, but it was ok she was still learning, it would come, right. I mean isn't it one of the first 5 words most kids say?! But now as time is passing and she's learning new words, it's getting harder to hide the fact that it's hurting more and more. I mean it's crazy for me to be so upset that my healthy, wonderful, and totally beautiful little girl just doesn't say Mommy. I think it's starting to hurt more, not only cuz she's learning all these other words, but she can say Daddy(which was her 2nd word and at the moment is what she also calls me), Grandpa(ANPA), brother(other), and Nana. I mean I'm with her every day, every moment! It is very sweet that hubby tries to get her to say mommy, and the therapist tried right before her vacation last week, but still she doesn't budge. It just hurts and I hate to admit that not hearing your child say mommy to you hurts so much, but it does. For 18 months I've been waiting, and still nothing. We go places and it's bad enough when people try to talk to her and they don't get anything but baby talk out of her then they look at her like -what's wrong with her she should know how to talk-, but then they say "is that your mommy?" Most kids would say mommy and point....me I get either just a point to me or daddy and a point. I know it sounds totally silly to most of you, but it's true. It's bittersweet to see your 4yr old trying to get your 2yr old to call you mommy!
And that post is why I haven't posted in awhile, it's been bottled up for awhile, wanting to vent, but truthfully, I just wasn't ready to tell the world how I really felt about it. Isn't it crazy how one word can be so powerful!